I don't get. I just don't get it. Why is it that when you really, really want something, God keeps you from getting and then, when you don't care if you get it, you get it?! I just don't understand. Prepare yourselves, this is the coming from the heart of a single woman who has had it to her ears with rejection.
I was so in love with a guy. Oh, he was great. I called him, he called me. I would go to visit him and we would go swing dancing. When him and I danced, people watched. We had such a good time together. He had a thing with his nose where there was always a booger hanging out but I cared about him enough to over look that and let him know it was there. Now, if that isn't love, then I don't know what is. Well, obviously I don't know what it is. He started to call me because he really liked this one girl and she did not like him. He would never tell me her name but called me all the time to talk about her. He described her to me once and the description fitted me to a T. Well, it apparently was not me he liked.
I have not talked to him since October 2006. Kinda lame that I know the exact month huh? I was just so angry at him. I drove all the way to the twin cities in hopes to see him. I called him and told him where I would be and that our friends would be there. He said he would meet up with us but never showed. It hurt, a lot. I drive for 4 hours to see him and he cannot drive 20 minutes to meet up and see me?! We haven't talked since then.
It hurts. I really like him. I have tried liking other guys but I am constantly rejected. I have been thinking of putting together a questionaire. When a guy rejects me, he has to fill it out and tell me what I did wrong. Ok, maybe I am bordering on the line of psycho. :)
Ugh! People tell me that if I stop looking for it, then I will get it. Why can't I have it when I am looking for it? What is so wrong about that?!
Ok, it is late and I am exasperated so I am going to go to sleep.
I am alone
Here I will stay
In my home
Here I will lay
Rejected by love
Broken and shy
No light from above
But I won't die
2 comments:
Not sure what to say. My thoughts if Mr. Fuddy Duddy doesn't take the time for you then he is not the one that God had in mind for you. Maybe this is God's way of wanting you to rely on Him more and he already knows who your future husband is and will bring him along at the right moment. Trust me, when God is involved its worth waiting for!
Okay Jess, the boogy thing made me laugh a little. But seriously, how old is this guy that he can't keep his nose clean? Eww!! I'm sure you were really let down that he didn't bother to show up after your long drive, but...your sister is right....God knows the right guy for you, and it needs to be His timing - not yours. You will be so much happier and go through less heart aches if you trust God for that perfect guy. And..I bet...he will know how to keep his nose clean!!!
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